Holding the Man - A Life Changer - Part 3

Holding the Man - The Red Carpet!

The whole 'movie premiere' spectacle was a new experience for me. We had made ourselves gorgeous in readiness for the event, and Caroline had pulled me into a gaggle of her family, who were all equally as lovely and welcoming. As I stood there in my prime position directly behind the official red carpet photographers,waiting for the stars of the movie to arrive, my thoughts went to John. I had a pretty firm idea of my John and how he should look, sound and act. My only contact with Craig had been via Twitter and he had come across as warm, friendly and a bit cheeky. But would he be my John?

There was a buzz on the other side of the photo area as the important people arrived. There they were; Craig Stott and Ryan Corr - John and Tim.

Craig Stott and Ryan Corr

They moved out onto the red carpet and the cameras began to flash. They were smiling, laughing and waving to family, so I quickly lifted my camera to begin to take advantage of my incredible position. I got pushed forward by people who took one look at my camera and decided that I should be the 'official' unofficial photographer of the group. Apparently I was also considered 'tall'. This amused me no end, as I'm pretty much as average as you can get height-wise. Only 5'6, 5'8 at a push with the heels (I don't do high heels!). Still, this let me stick my camera (and others that got passed to me) high in the air to shoot over the heads of the photographers who actually knew what they were doing.

Director, Neil Armfield, Craig & Ryan 

Ryan came across as a handsome, toned-down version of Tim, and I felt quite comfortable with that.

Craig , Sarah Snook & Ryan 

It was fantastic to see the cast and crew in high spirits and so very proud of the story that they had brought to life on film.

Cast and Crew of Holding the Man

But there was Craig - smiling, chatty, bubbly, self-assured and altogether Tim-like. Not my John at all. I just couldn't imagine this sassy little dude doing the quiet and calm John thing.

Geoffrey Rush, Ryan, Craig & Anthony LaPaglia

I started to think that I was going into a movie which wasn't going to quite match the pictures in my head, particularly when Craig had a rather adorable emotional meltdown over meeting Australian comedy icon, Magda Szubanski.

Aw!

But then, I caught a couple of moments on camera that made me rethink...

There was Tim and John. This was going to be just fine!

I have to mention this magic moment. Standing directly behind the person doing the interviews certainly had benefits...

Most of the photos I caught of Craig during the interview were of him talking, so they were actually pretty funny, but he was rather pleased with this one, so I'll put it here just for him.

As things were winding up on the red carpet, Craig made his way over to his family and exchanged hugs and kisses. I was floored when he looked at me and somehow made the connection between my online presence and the real me, coming over to give me a hug and kiss. What a sweetie. I got to have a little fan-girl moment of my own.

Holding the Man: The Movie.

We filed in and waited patiently for things to get underway. The cast and crew had to do the rounds of three cinemas that were screening the movie before coming to us, where they would be sitting. We had some quick speeches and lovely introductions. The sense of pride from all concerned was palpable and left us expecting something amazing. The only disappointment was that I didn't get to share my viewing of the film with Caroline. I know she would have held my hand and passed me the tissues had she been there. But she was in another of the cinemas with Craig's family, thanks to the last minute acquisition of a ticket to the sold out event.

The feels began right from the opening scene, with Tim's distraught phone call to his friend, Pepe. It pretty much set the scene for the amount of crying that would be involved. But then I got caught up in the production. The richness of the detail was incredible. Kudos to all involved in creating the sets, costumes and music for this amazing film. The good old wheel-out folder bed took me straight back to my childhood, as did the decor schemes of the 70s and 80s. 

As far as the screenplay goes, I guess, in the back of my mind, I was anticipating a story-line similar to that of the book. Now, don't get me wrong, the movie was extremely faithful to Tim's story, but brilliant screenwriter, Tommy Murphy, shook things up to create magic. The book begins with sweet young love, the challenges of being accepted (or not) by family and society and many of the usual difficulties associated with maintaining a relationship. It was full of humour, honesty and emotion. But inevitably, we had to follow the boys through the period of their diagnosis and decline in health, particularly John's. While Tim managed to maintain his quirky humour throughout this part of the book, I fully expected to descend into depression as the movie progressed.

Very cleverly, Tommy reworked the story into a series of time-jumps, taking us backwards and forwards in their lives in a way that brought balance to the emotional journey despite the inevitable sadness of the conclusion. But even there, we were treated to a moment of lightness, not to mention a special little surprise right at the very end. Stay until the end of the credits, kids!

The flawless soundtrack has to rate a mention, featuring Aussie bands of the era, such as Dragon and Masters Apprentices, as well as Roxy Music, T-Rex, Bronski Beat and Pete Shelley. I've always found music to be a powerful medium for drawing you into a time period and for evoking memories of your own life. I was particularly impressed with the way it was used to link the jumps in time.

I can't go on without mentioning the cast who breathed life into the people and families from the pages of Tim's book. Anthony LaPaglia's powerful but heart-wrenching portrayal of Bob Caleo was beautifully handled and highlighted the fact that, despite his disapproval of John's relationship with Tim and the abysmal way he treated them, Bob still loved his son deeply. Guy Pearce and Kerry Fox as Tim's parents Dick and Mary Gert, and Camilla Ah Kin as John's mother, Lois, completed the exceptional supporting cast responsible for revealing the way the families dealt with Tim and John's journey.

However, Holding the Man wouldn't shine as brightly as it does without the stellar performances of leading men, Ryan Corr and Craig Stott. My only exposure to Ryan's acting prior to this film was the Aussie sci-fi kids series, Silversun - a favourite of my son's in the mid-90s. Needless to say I was blown away by his sensitive, pitch-perfect portrayal of Tim. From the first scene in Italy and Tim's frantic phone call to recover tiny details of his time with John that were escaping him as his illness progressed, to the awkward final gathering in the hospital room, Ryan was masterful. I recall messaging Tommy Murphy, hoping that he had written Tim as a likable, selfish prick. Having now seen the movie several times, I have to say he was successful in that endeavour, though I'd have to change the word 'likable' to 'lovable'.

Then there was Craig as John. The cheeky sense of humour was there, the charm, the magnetism of the character that draws you to love John as much as Tim obviously did. But Craig also brought John's calm and quiet dignity to life onscreen. I was pleased to see that Craig brought some balance to John in the form of jealousy and rage. Tim's voice in HTM was so very clear, but John was more of a mystery and was held on quite a pedestal by Tim. Craig managed to maintain the image that Tim painted but also injected some human imperfection into his performance.

I know I wasn't alone in being shocked by the physical transformation that Craig had to undergo as the film progressed and John's health declined. It was heart-breaking to see such a healthy and vital young man reduced to a painfully thin, frail invalid. The enactment of confronting medical scenes brought home the horror and harsh reality of AIDS related illness. During my second viewing of the movie, several people felt compelled to leave at this point of the film, obviously traumatised by the procedures that were depicted. I struggled through them, knowing that the reality was so much worse than anything I was seeing on screen. If those poor boys had to go through it repeatedly, the least I could do was honour their memory by watching.

When John finally slips away, and your heart has been totally pummeled, you are left reeling at the injustices that left Tim unable to hold the hand of his long-term partner and lover in the moments of his death...the man who should have been his husband. To add to the pain, their beautiful love is then completely disregarded at John's funeral. The tragedy of this scenario is that things still haven't changed. The love between two people of the same gender is still considered to be of inferior quality to heterosexual love in our country. I could go on, but I think I'll continue my rant in a future post.

It's a telling measure of a successful performance when you leave the cinema grieving the loss of a character. It's a measure of brilliance when you are still mourning that character three weeks later! So, Craig Stott as John Caleo - ideal. I walked out of that cinema trying to be subtle about mopping up tears but incredibly happy.

PS

I have now seen the movie four times with different friends and relatives. By viewing four, I could make it through with barely a tear (just), but was always delighted to find that my movie buddy had enjoyed the film tremendously and was now going to share the story of Tim and John's love.